Monday, August 29, 2011

Big Miller's Lockout Inspired Team Previews: The Atlanta Hawks

Hello Blog world and NBA Basketball fans.

In the name of Patrick Ewing and his knee pads I declare the NBA lockout a travesty! The lockout is a terrible representation and harsh reality of professional sports. While all of us die-hard fans anxiously check ESPN every day in hopes of some miracle solution to the labour negotiations, millionaires argue with millionaires over [approximately] a few million dollars spread between 500 players. WHO GIVES A CRAP!! JUST END THE LOCKOUT!! I sometimes feel like our good friend and pal 'Milk' who once made the mistake of falling asleep before the rest of us at a sleepover. We threatened to cut the shaggy mop on his head that he called hair if he fell asleep before us, so true to our word we got out a pair of clippers and turned it on close enough to his head that he could hear it. He immediately jumped up and screamed:

"GET LOST (Gay Slur)!" When we asked him what was the matter he responded

" I don't know, I just kindof dreamed that there were all of these PENISES around me!"

Just to clarify, back then gay slurs (although not any more correct) weren't frowned upon as much as they are in todays society. Plus if Kobe Bryant can say it, so can Milk. Nevertheless, I now understand my friends panic upon being startled at the thought of losing something dear to him.

Despite the lockout, I am hoping for a season this upcoming fall. If I could, I would do something proactive about the lockout to help it end but I am just a student in Saskatchewan, Canada with a negative monetary value to my name and a small business that barely broke even this summer; which means little to no influential power in the world of sports. But boy oh boy can I blog!! So in anticipation of the 2011/2012 season (that WILL happen) I am starting (and will hopefully finish before the season starts) a preview of all 30 teams in the NBA.

The Atlanta Falcons (just kidding) Hawks

Current situation: I can't help but think that the Hawks are the current incarnation of the Wizards 4 to 5 years ago. They are now locked into the 5/4 seed of the East for the next 5 years, like the wiz were. Joe Johnsons contract handcuffs them in that spot with little room for improvement, like Arenas' did to the Wiz. They have three key players who are 1) perennial all-star reserve (Joe Johnson, Gilbert Arenas) 2)sometimes an all-star, sometimes not (Al Horford, Antawn Jamison) and 3)Borderline all-star who may make it once or twice (Josh Smith, Caron Butler). Atleast they are a perennial playoff team right? Wrong. What's the point of achieving the exact same thing every year without progressing? Oh yeah, here's an insider secret: Joe Johnson isn't that good. Atleast not even close to 20 million a year good.

Going Forward: It seems like the Hawks have some tradeable pieces and they are only a player or two away from going from good to really good. They need to be careful not to go Orlando Magic on themselves and Trade 4 key players all at once and hope for the best. They do need to make a move though and it has to bolster their starting unit. The Hawks bench is one to be envious of, it has scoring and energy and is probably one of the most solid benches in the league so whatever change is made, it has to be to either the point or center position. Since Centers are hard to come by, maybe they should try to get Baron Davis? Wouldn't Davis be a little more motivated to play on a playoff team? Personally I think he would be a perfect fit for their team. I also think that Cleveland would HAVE to bite on some sort of Hinrich plus a pick or money for Davis deal. Either way, there's not many elite or potentially elite point guard deals out there that the hawks could swing, but they might as well swing for the fences while they are handcuffed by the Johnson contract.

Well, there you have it. The first installment of the 30 team preview. If you are wondering why I started with the Atlanta Hawks it's simple. I am going to go in alphabetical order. I hope you enjoy these previews while the Millionaires poop in our beds. Best case scenario, I won't be able to finish these previews before the season starts and then we can stop imagining PENISES everywhere.


  1. Nice work Miller Regent. I'm glad the Pads has been resurrected. I wish I had more to say about the Hawks, cus you deserve some good comments for getting this ball rolling again, but I think you said it all. I agree with pretty much everything you said. But I guess I'm less optimistic. I think they'll always be stuck in limbo. People talk about the Raptors having a hard time attracting free agents, but I sort of feel like Atlanta has a similar problem. They're good but why would anyone want to go there? They're stuck with Joe Johnson and you're right, he's not that great. But that sort of sends the message that they're not too interested in anyone else. They have other good players but Joe's their guy. And with him as their guy, they're not going anywhere. I wouldn't be surprised to see them trade Josh Smith, but I'm not sure what they'll want for him. I don't think they need Baron Davis though. They're probably sold on Jeff Teague after last year's playoffs. I'm not sure how that will work. Probably not well. It's never good to go full blast on one guy after a great but isolated performance. It happens all the time. Brandon Jennings comes to mind. 55 points against Golden State and then he's the next big thing, but he hasn't done anything since. So that might happen with Teague. I wouldn't be surprised.
    With all that said, I sort of like the Hawks, but I'm glad I'm not a dedicated fan. They're stuck. But like you said, it depends on what they can get in a trade. You never know.

  2. First I'll say "nice article." Then I'll say "Stop being a pussy and just type the word Faggot!" It never really hurt anyone, haha.

  3. But what if Ellen Degeneres reads Patrick Ewings Knee pads? She would publicly humiliate Miller Regent and have me come on her show to apologize.
    Don't believe me? She did it to some other blogger a few months ago....

  4. Ha ha that would be super funny to see Miller Regent on Ellen's show!!! But I kind of agree with Cam. You're not using it against anyone, and you're just bringing up a quote from the past. If anyone is to get in trouble, I think it would have to be Cam. Now that would be funny!

    Anyway, the Hawks really are stuck. I also don't think Davis would be a good addition to the team. His problem is his attitude, which I really don't think will change that much if he's on Atlanta. I mean, he wanted to play in LA and he wasn't great. Why would he all of a sudden start trying in Atlanta? I just don't know what they could do to get up to the level of Chicago and Miami. Smith would probably have to go, but I don't think they would get as much for him as they think they could or as much as they want.

  5. PS - What's with all the Sam Cassell pictures? I know he's funny looking, but I'm not too excited to look at his weird alien face all the time!

  6. Agreed, the Hawks are stuck. I was just going through all of the point guards in the league who are tradeable, around the same age as the hawks players and could potentially alter the course of their team for the good. Are the chances of Davis actually trying on the Hawks good? Probably not. But at the same time, once players are in a playoff atmsophere things can change. There just really isn't anything the Hawks can do. I was also thinking of what their management team is thinking. They are probably thinking that they have a solid group and maybe one of these playoff runs they will catch a break, injuries to other teams or a hot shooting streak maybe that would propel them into the finals and have a chance at winning it all. If that is their line of thining then I can't blame them for it. It's either that and making it to the playoffs every year or tanking and losing revenue for 6-7 seasons.

    Don't mind old Sam. It's a good way to call down the aliens to read our site if you post a good deal of pictures of one of their alien/human hybrids.

  7. Alright, its time for Chris Rock to put this Faggot issue to rest. Haha, if Ellen tried to make me go on her show, I would tell her to suck it. Anyway, watch this video, its funny (be warned there are a couple of F words :0)