Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Mark Cuban Peeing in a Urinal With Larry O'Brien's Trophy

It's time for Miller Regent's most Ultimate post of all time.

Taking a break from the Previews for one second, I thought I would just drop the greatest blog post ever written. Then I realized that there's nothing to write about.... There's nothing going on in the NBA and the next best thing (NFL) just isn't the same.

Yesterday (Monday) I finished my last mid-term of the semester. I am so accustomed to winding down from mid-term season by catching the Raptors play at around 7 ET 5 our time that by habit I ended up watching Monday night football with Michael Vick's Eagles taking on Erlacher's Bears. Other than championship games, this was one of the first times I have ever sat down to watch an ENTIRE football game from start to finish. Starting from watching some of the pre-game show to the starting cinematic I was more than pumped to see som pigskin flinging, bonecrunching action. I felt as excited as I ever have been for a regular season NBA game... so much so that I almost forgot there was a lockout and I almost believed that I could get into the NFL and completely forget the NBA. I even wanted very badly to forget the NBA and replace it with the NFL so that I could boycott the NBA to show my hatred for the greed on display in what they call the LOCKOUT.

However, after the first quarter I was bored. I wanted to fastforward to sportscenter after the game and just watch the highlights. Football just doesn't offer what basketball does. On rough estimate, there is a dunk or 3-pointer every 2 minutes in the NBA (including commercials and timeouts in the time). Every time there is a momentum-changing play in the NFL? Probably every 10 minutes (on average). It's the stoppage of play, a necessary evil, but terrible for those of us who want to maximize their TV sports watching experience.

Despite it's pitfalls, the NFL has it's place. I would argue that it is the best sport to watch when you get together with the buds. There is ample time for catching up, eating, belching and (of course) Farting the Big Farts. But as far as watching a football game by yourself?? It will never be as good as the NBA.

So why am I telling you these things my friends? Well, I'm not too sure (but I'm willing to bet Cam's Penis might know). Maybe it's because there is nothing to talk about in the NBA right now. I should be coming home to the raptors game raring to go at 5pm on Monday's Wednesdays and sometimes Fridays. I should be watching game highlights on my laptop at school while I should be paying attention. I should be looking forward to catching a couple games at The Grey Nathan's Parent's house over the christmas holidays but then never actually getting around to do it. We should be talking about how much we hate the Mavs because they are only good due to a wealthy owner. And we should be debating right now whether the raptors and jazz have what it takes to squeak into the playoffs or not.

But, we are not doing these things. And we might not be able to this year. And I can't decide whether I hate myself for liking the NBA too much or I hate the players and owners for loving money too much. Let's just hope something changes soon.


  1. I like this post. And I've had very similar thoughts. "The NBA is the worst. I don't even want to like it anymore. Maybe I'll just become a football guy." And then the same thing happens to me. I watch a little and then start doing something else while the game is still going. Most sundays this happens: we come home from church, eat lunch, ashley takes a nap, I put on some football, watch a little, then put it on mute and read a book. That way I can look up every once in a while and see if anything interesting is happening. If it is I'll unmute it and watch, mute it when the action is over, and read until things pick up again. So I think you're right. There's too many breaks in the action. And the games are wayyyy too long. I've watched entire games a few times and always feel a little guilty afterwards that I spent 3-4 hours sitting there doing nothing important. But I agree again... It is a great time to hang out with buddies and Fart the Big Farts. haha.
    Also, I'm glad The Grey Nathan and Miller Regent's "Patrick Ewing's Knee Pads" is going strong....

  2. Ha ha, I was actually almost going to suggest that we should change the name to Patrick Ewing's Knee Pads: The Grey Nathan and Miller Regent will Tell each other about the NBA.

    I also like how Cam's Penis always has to be involved. It makes me chuckle everytime.

    So today the NBAPA rejected the offer from the owners... Greedy faggots

  3. 2/4 contributors to Patrick's Pads are dink holes, and 2/4 are not.