A Druggists Take on Performance Enhancing Drugs

Being born in the mid 80's, I was just old enough but not quite old enough to be excited by but not totally understand the second 3 peat of Michael Jordan's Bulls. I don't think I ever knew when the games were on but I somehow ended up catching most of the games on a 14 inch tube screen with an odd color problem making everything slightly yellow. And somehow I would watch these games alone in my basement - just the way I liked it - free to think about the game on my own. 

The Bane of the Hale's Existence

What drew me into admiring the Bulls during that run wasn't the popularity or style that MJ was so known for. It was the transcendence of his talent. On the biggest stage in the NBA he still stood out as a truly transcendent player - maximizing his physical abilities. 

One of the major aspects of my NBA entertainment experience is witnessing players play at the absolute maximum of their abilities and transcending what I think is humanly possible.

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Remember Monotesticle Lance? He was vilified for using performance enhancing drugs and 'cheating' his way to overcoming human limits - but before he was caught, it was exciting. 

5 Fingers but only 1 testicle

What if using PEDs were legal? Would we view the great athletes of our day who used PEDs differently? Would they go down in the record books without an asterisk next to their name?

I think that part of maximizing talent by professional athletes should legally include the safe and effective use of PEDs. 

If a banned substance (like HGH or erythropoietin) helps athletes to recover from injuries faster, why are they unable to use it? Don't we want to see them back sooner rather than later? If a banned substance (like testosterone) can be used safely to maximize physical abilities then what is the problem?

Some of the substances banned by the NBA are used routinely in the healthcare system to aid in recovery of patients suffering from a wide variety of ailments. So to me, it doesn't make sense that players should be banned from using them. What happens when you ban substances like these is that players find a way to use them without getting caught - or by using masking agents. Masking agents are drugs used to cover up the presence of PEDs on blood tests and these agents are diuretics which can put athletes at further risk. 

Take Furosemide for example, routinely used in people with heart failure to rid their body of excess retained fluid. Furosemide depletes your body of potassium - an electrolyte essential for muscle contraction. When your muscles don't contract properly damage, cramps and even death could occur (remember your heart is a pretty important muscle).

If players didn't have to cover up their PED use (which will happen regardless of rules) they wouldn't have to go to extreme lengths to cover them up and put their health at further risk.

What I propose is an enabling approach to PED use in the NBA. That is, allow the use of substances that are proven effective but only under the DIRECT supervision of a team physician. Bodybuilders have been doing this with steroids for years! This would ensure both the SAFE & EFFECTIVE use of PEDs. 

Legally players would could recover from injury quicker, avoid inappropriate use of these drugs and maximize their physical abilities.

I hope to see an NBA where most players who enter the league can reach their maximum potential. Especially when players like Derrick Rose (a transcendent talent) is hampered by injuries early in his career and may not even reach 10 seasons in the league. I feel like an enabling approach to PED use is one of many options not being utilized that may prolong and enhance the careers of many athletes. 

Side note: Among some other ridiculous banned substances is pseudoephedrine - the drug in cough and cold medication used to unclog your nose (also used to make methamphetamine... but I doubt many NBA players need to be in that business). If abused there can be some issues with pseudoephedrine but if a player has a cold he can't even use this??? 

Gambling & Being Old: Requirements of an NBA referee

The year is 2001. Late into the NBA conference finals heading into game 6 of a Bucks vs 76ers series featuring the current league MVP (Iverson) and THE greatest shooter of all time (Ray Allen) - then entering his prime. The series thus far had been evenly matched and wildly entertaining - with no shortage of controversy.

Coming on the heels of a crushing 1 point loss in game 5, Allen felt as though his team was getting the short end of the stick.

"I think there's no question about that. The league, as a marketing machine, the bottom line is about making money," Allen said. "It behooves everybody for the league to make more money, and the league knows that Philadelphia is going to make more money with L.A. than we would with L.A."

 His comments come with good reason considering the way the Bucks lost the game. In the waning minutes of the game Sam Cassell received a technical foul then both Glenn Robinson & Tim Thomas committed flagrant fouls resulting in a 5-point possession and two 4-point possessions which ultimately put the nail in the bucks coffin - or if you're into hunting - put the arrow through the male deer's brain? What these 3 types of fouls have in common is that they are subject to the discretion of the referee - and open to the possibility of bias in an occupation that requires strict fairness at it's fundamental core.

Even 13 years ago the reffing of the NBA was questionable. Today is no different.

But are the refs corrupt? Do they follow an agenda set out by the commissioner of the NBA to fix games so that the most profitable matchups are seen in each playoff round?

The Gambling Ref

I am not a conspiracy theorist (at least when it comes to the NBA) and as entertaining it is to explore the possibility of conspiracies in the NBA, I just don't buy it. I do, however, fall into the emotional trap of getting all worked up over close (and sometimes outright terrible) calls that go against my team. And don't for one second 'kidd' yourself that Jason Kidd & Joe Johnson's comments criticizing the reffing in last years epic 7 game series vs the raptors didn't win the series for the Nets. (the series was EXTREMELY close - over the 11 games they played each other over the seaseon the point differential was with in 5 - enough that a few swayed calls was the difference in the series). But ultimately I do not believe that refs favor one team over the other (unless they are gambling on the game...).




I think the issue with refs is that they are subject to human follies. This goes two ways. Refs are prone to persuasion. When players, media and the like make scathing comments about the officiating I believe that the refs become subconsciously worried about what was said and alter the way they call the next game or two. Additionally, when fans see a perceived injustice in the officiating it becomes magnified to the point that they only see the mistakes - and it makes the officiating seem worse than it actually is.

Are games sometimes called unfairly? Absolutely, but over the course of 82 games or a 7 game series I think that these things have a way of averaging themselves out. The best teams make the playoffs and the best team wins the series - 90% of the time. But for the 10% of the time something strange happens, look to Sir Charles for inspiration:

"We don't need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do."

— Charles Barkley

These are the offseason thoughts I have had on officiating and I am sure that once the season starts I will almost certainly change my mind based solely on emotion. I have come to terms with my perceived injustice that is NBA officiating and realize that it is mostly created from my own perception. I feel like just knowing and understanding this will help me to enjoy the game - although it will always be fun to yell at a TV and scare my infant children.

I still like the NBA

Hey Paddies,

I still follow and love the NBA. I also remembered that this blog was one of my more enjoyable hobbies (2 years ago!!!). As this new 2014/15 season approaches I really hope to revive this blog even if I am the only one that is writing new posts. So to get started, I have controversial predictions.

First, Paul Pierce will not make the Washington Wizards better - in fact they will be a worse team than last year.

PP is aging and hasn't been an effective SF since he left Boston. The only reason he made things interesting in Brooklyn was because he became a new-age small ball PF and stretched the offensive floor for everyone else. Going to Washington he will move back to the SF spot where he's a step too slow defensively - which is the opposite of what they just came from in Trevor Ariza (and  don't forget that defense is what made them successful).

Second, Lance Stephenson will poop all over the Hornets.

I hate to say it (because I love everything about the change from Bobcats to Hornets) but I think that Stephenson is a headcase that was only held in check by not being 'the guy' in Indiana. Give him the keys to the franchise and he will kill what momentum they had last year. Not to mention he doesn't make sense for their team... they need outside shooting. Out of Kemba Walker, Stephenson, MKG, Cody Zeller and Al Jefferson only ONE (walker) is a decent 3pt shooter. I hope I'm wrong, but they could be horrible on offense..

And that's All I got. As I write more little posts my goal is to both spawn interest and get better at writing quality. I feel like this is an easy and fun hobbie to have and if any paddie would like to contribute (including and outside of the original 4) just ask and I can make you a contributor.

Thanks for reading you losers.

Now disagree with my controversial predictions.

I Give Thanks

It has been 336 days since the last post on Patrick Ewing's Knee Pads. We basically missed an entire season...I'm not going to let that happen again.

Yesterday was Canadian Thanksgiving. Yesterday was also the Utah Jazz' first preseason game. Between the 2 events happening simultaneously, it caused me to reflect on what I was thankful for this NBA season. Here are 8 (weird number...but that's how many came to mind right away) of those reasons, in no particular order:

1. James Harden's Beard - It's just big and cool. It makes me happy every time I see it, and I can only hope to replicate it one day.

2. a) No Lockout - This time last year I felt like every hocky fan today: depressed. I don't have to hope for a repeat birthday present from last year, which was the day they announced the end of the lockout.
2. b) No Hockey - I don't specifically have anything against hockey other than it overwhelms every media source in Canada and we miss out on more NBA coverage.

3. Steve Nash and Dwight Howard on the Lakers....psych!

4. Blake Griffin's dunks - I have to admit, some of the novelty has worn off, but I haven't been this excited about watching someone dunk since before Vince Carter gave up on his career. We all know that he will have at least a few dunks that we will see on the highlights more than 50 times this season.

5. Jonas Valanciunas - I don't have super high expectations for him, or the Raptors, this year but I think this is someone who will change the future of the franchise for the better (I hope).

6. The Utah Jazz - It's nice to cheer for a team who either makes, or comes close to making, the playoffs every year. If only they could make it past the first or second round again. At least their future looks like this

7. Lebron's NBA Championship - I am thankful for this for 3 reasons: 1) I like Lebron. He seems nice and cool. 2) We can finally stop hearing everyone in the media talk about how he has never won a title. 3) It puts him one step closer to stealing Michael Jordan's title of "Greatest of All Time." Speaking of which...

8. Michael Jordan's Charlotte Bobcats - I don't wish for bad things to happen to ol' MJ, but I have to admit that it is extremely satisfying to see the man who "single-handedly" stole two championships from my team be the absolute worst at something. Remember how the Bobcats were the worst team of all time last year? Yep, Michael Jordan helped that happen.

I can only hope to be thankful for even more by the time American Thanksgiving rolls around.

Mark Cuban Peeing in a Urinal With Larry O'Brien's Trophy

It's time for Miller Regent's most Ultimate post of all time.

Taking a break from the Previews for one second, I thought I would just drop the greatest blog post ever written. Then I realized that there's nothing to write about.... There's nothing going on in the NBA and the next best thing (NFL) just isn't the same.

Yesterday (Monday) I finished my last mid-term of the semester. I am so accustomed to winding down from mid-term season by catching the Raptors play at around 7 ET 5 our time that by habit I ended up watching Monday night football with Michael Vick's Eagles taking on Erlacher's Bears. Other than championship games, this was one of the first times I have ever sat down to watch an ENTIRE football game from start to finish. Starting from watching some of the pre-game show to the starting cinematic I was more than pumped to see som pigskin flinging, bonecrunching action. I felt as excited as I ever have been for a regular season NBA game... so much so that I almost forgot there was a lockout and I almost believed that I could get into the NFL and completely forget the NBA. I even wanted very badly to forget the NBA and replace it with the NFL so that I could boycott the NBA to show my hatred for the greed on display in what they call the LOCKOUT.

However, after the first quarter I was bored. I wanted to fastforward to sportscenter after the game and just watch the highlights. Football just doesn't offer what basketball does. On rough estimate, there is a dunk or 3-pointer every 2 minutes in the NBA (including commercials and timeouts in the time). Every time there is a momentum-changing play in the NFL? Probably every 10 minutes (on average). It's the stoppage of play, a necessary evil, but terrible for those of us who want to maximize their TV sports watching experience.

Despite it's pitfalls, the NFL has it's place. I would argue that it is the best sport to watch when you get together with the buds. There is ample time for catching up, eating, belching and (of course) Farting the Big Farts. But as far as watching a football game by yourself?? It will never be as good as the NBA.

So why am I telling you these things my friends? Well, I'm not too sure (but I'm willing to bet Cam's Penis might know). Maybe it's because there is nothing to talk about in the NBA right now. I should be coming home to the raptors game raring to go at 5pm on Monday's Wednesdays and sometimes Fridays. I should be watching game highlights on my laptop at school while I should be paying attention. I should be looking forward to catching a couple games at The Grey Nathan's Parent's house over the christmas holidays but then never actually getting around to do it. We should be talking about how much we hate the Mavs because they are only good due to a wealthy owner. And we should be debating right now whether the raptors and jazz have what it takes to squeak into the playoffs or not.

But, we are not doing these things. And we might not be able to this year. And I can't decide whether I hate myself for liking the NBA too much or I hate the players and owners for loving money too much. Let's just hope something changes soon.